MEET THE CANDIDATES

MEET THE CANDIDATES
Click on a link to find out more about each "Stupid Tuesday" nominee.

SYLVIA ALLEN
Think you've seen crazy? She says, "hold my beer".
It's fitting that Sylvia Allen hails from Snowflake... especially if you take out the "snow" part.

She's the chair of the Senate Education Committee--and boy, does she need one.

Witness an op-ed in the White Mountain Independent, which was supposedly about Charlottesville... in a roundabout sort of way. If she had been driving, she would have been pulled over.

Consider this bit of twisted prose:

"For millennia, people's fate was determined by what station in life they were born into. Then a new dawn of governing appeared, driven by the conviction that all men are created equal, and that all were born with inalienable rights from their Creator"

Two points she missed like a Scud missile: as a letter writer later pointed out, she should have said "unalienable" as it was written in the Declaration of Independence. "Inalienable rights" mean those rights can be sold or transferred.

 Then, there's this:

"Yes, some of our founders owned slaves. They were born into a world that had been functioning this way for thousands of years. But more importantly, our Founders had the courage to declare that it was a time for change and that the current system must be reformed so that all should be free..."

A little Calendar 101 here. The Declaration of Independence was in 1776. The Emancipation Proclamation was in 1863--87 years later.

Here's what else she's done. All in all, quite an impressive record:
When else can you say after that but "A-bea-duh-bea-duh-bea... that's all, folks!"
MARIA SYMS
You have to take the good with the bad.
Sometimes, you come across someone who makes you go back and rewrite things, in this case Maria Syms and Jeff Beck's 1985 classic "Ambitious": 
Maria has come a long way in a short time. She graduated from Smith in 1989, got a law degree from American University in 1992, and a Master of Public Administration from Harvard in 2014.

She's been an Assistant Attorney General, an Assistant U.S. Attorney, and a Pleasant Valley Council member. 

So, why does she make such... interesting choices?

First, she allegedly dumped the rest of her District 28 Republican ticket and ran as a single-shot candidate for the Legislature (which turned out to be a good idea, because Democrat Kelli Butler took the other seat), then voted against abolishing photo radar cameras--even though she said she was against them.

Then there's the whole thing about giving a speech in favor of a bill--after it has already passed.  

But, as with anything else in life, you have to take the good with the bad. Syms has been lauded for her sponsorship of a bill requiring hospitals to report rapes within 24 hours, and police departments are to see that rape kits are processed within 14 days.

Still, legislating all over the road should be enough to get you pulled over.
BOB THORPE
Voting can be so unfair.
When an incumbent doesn't win re-election by as much as he thinks he should, what does he do?

Reach out to those who didn't vote for him? Campaign harder next time?

If you're Bob Thorpe, you introduce a bill to try and make sure the people who didn't vote for you last time can't vote in your district next time.

Like someone else we know, he's had to apologize for racially-charged tweets claiming then-Attorney General Eric Holder was "soft on crime because he wanted to keep blacks out of prison".

In case you thought this was just an isolated incident, Thorpe also called an incident at a Missouri county fair where a rodeo clown wore a mask depicting former President Obama "a crowd pleaser".

We wonder what would happen if we put a bowl of regular Life cereal in front of Bob Thorpe. Would he hate that, too?

At least Mikey grew up.
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